My Plane Flight to New Zealand or How I Got Jemaine Clement’s Autograph

I left the fam in San Francisco, seeing them (and my aunt and uncle’s family too) for the last time in five (!) months, and my plane flight down to the Los Angeles airport went very smoothly. We actually flew along the California coastline, and I recognized everything up until Monterey. The Bay was really beautiful, and it was a great reminder of home and how much I love it and will miss it over the upcoming months. When I landed in LA, I had to switch terminals (which is not nearly as easy it is in other airports – the Atlanta airport comes to mind – and go through security again to get into the international terminal. Waiting for me there, though, were my close friends Liz and Leigh, as well as other Colby kids who were going to on the same program as we were (I already knew Sarah and Duy, and met Erica, John W., Dan O, etc.). I was torn between sitting with the very obvious group of Butler kids and hanging in the corner with Liz, Leigh, Sarah, and Erica. I tried to be a bit social, but wasn’t really managing very well (in my own opinion, of course, novel situations are quite uncomfortable for me). Anyways, about an hour later, Leigh calls me saying “Michael, I just saw Jemaine!” I immediately assumed that Leigh was pulling my leg. It was the running joke for all of the kids going to New Zealand that we were going to see/stalk Flight of the Conchords. I thought it was absolutely preposterous that out of all the famous New Zealand people that I knew (Bret and Jemaine), one of them was going to be on our flight to Auckland. I ran over to Leigh, though, when she assured me she wasn’t lying (her face was quite sincere when I saw her), and she tried to point him out to me. He was walking up the stairs to the Air New Zealand VIP lounge. I inspected the outside of the lounge with Duy and figured that I couldn’t get in there in an inconspicuous manner. I immediately texted Colin, my brother, and a couple of friends. Colin suggested that I ask for a picture with Jemaine, but I figured all I could ask for without being a complete d-bag was an autograph. Leigh and I plotted and figured she might be able to snap a picture from afar without being too nosy. Our opportunity came when we saw Jemaine heading towards the gate. He obviously wanted to avoid a fuss and came at the last possible moment to check into the flight (he was going on Air New Zealand’s equivalent of first class). Leigh and I freaked out. I grabbed my stuff, and with a pen and my travel journal ready, trembling, I said to Jemaine, “Jemaine, may I have your autograph?” It seemed like he was a bit taken aback by this gesture (which I feel like he’d be used to by now) but he asked me what my name was. I managed to mouth a “Michael” and he wrote: “Michael, Hi. Jemaine.” (picture coming, I promise) I think I also managed to say “I’m a huge fan of your work” at some point, but it’s really a humongous, adrenaline-filled blur at this point in time. I remember turning around (after thanking him) and seeing Leigh’s smiling face, with her saying “I’m so proud of you Michael,” and me showing anybody and everybody that wanted to see. I turned back and there was a girl asking for Jemaine’s digits and another guy wanting to take a picture of Jemaine with his camera phone. A very audible buzz arouse at our gate when everyone realized that Jemaine Clement (!) was on our goddamn flight to Auckland. What were the odds? I was in a glow for the rest of the flight, riding the high of getting the autograph of one of my heroes (yes, he and Bret are heroes of mine by their sheer amazing-ness and creativity). What a way to start my adventure to New Zealand, eh? The Jemaine sighting wasn’t completely over, though. He, like everybody else, had to pick up his bags at the baggage carousel. This was another opportunity that I couldn’t let up, either, While Liz, Leigh, and I were staring at Jemaine and his friend, I decided to grab my camera and take a pseudo-photo of Jemaine by having Liz and Leigh pose and have Jemaine in the background. Here are the results:

Ridiculous.